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To Celia: A Poempology
To Celia: A PoempologyBy Ronnie Peace(A poem of apology, of which I would also like to apologise for this here poetry)I'm sorry Celia,For incorrectly typing CeciliaOn the Twittersphere-iaI did not mean...
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The Two Ronnies
When my good mate Ronald McDonald and I get together hilarity generally ensues.(and hopefully when his McSolicitors get a load of this, they don't on-sue me)Oh, how we laugh.Just two clowns bouncing...
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A Poem: My Turn
My TurnBy Ronnie Peace[A Poem about Australia's newest Prime Minister]Prime Minister Merry Go RoundPhoto: Courtesy of www.tjwstudio.comMalcolm beforeMal come againMalcolm's turn nowTurn bull to PMA...
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Life In A Metaphorical Nutshell
You have probably just read my learned piece on The Stages Of Life. And, presumedly, loved it very much, throwing bouquets of roses from the balcony with a tear in your eye in admiration. That's...
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The Stages Of Life
As humans we start this life much like we end it - crawling, incoherent and shitting our pants - such is the circle of life. The following is my scientific analysis on human life in a nutshell...As a...
View ArticleMagpie Season
In Australia, 'Magpies' (or, the 'Australian Magpie') are a type of bird that many refer to as The Great White Sharks of the air.Though, my wife says, "No they don't, that's stupid, no one says...
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Halloween for Idiots
Hallo. Weening you onto the true origin of Halloween is as easy as Paris Hilton. Or baking a pumpkin pie.As an Australian, Halloween is simply an afternoon spent quietly inside with the lights off to...
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The Heat In The Kitchen
I walked into a melee in the kitchen. The appliances were bickering again. Apparently it all started when the pot called the kettle black, and the kettle took offence (it preferred the term 'onyx').The...
View ArticleA Private Conversation Between Adam and Eve
Some time before the commencement of sexual relations between the infamous Adam and Eve (no doubt as they wondered if they were brother and sister, or not), Adam got curious."Eve", he said, "what do...
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The Blinking Christmas Lights Factory
Ah, Christmas time. Aaargh, Christmas time.The time of year where it is consciously accepted, even encouraged, to string up as many cheap flashing lights as one can and send the electricity grid into...
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Another Valentine's Day Special #2: Material Love
Material LoveLyrics by Ronnie PeaceVerse 1: Hello Mr MothOutside of my window.Planning a break-into chew on my chinos.Eats my clothes; doesn't suckHe's no mosquito.Addiction is deepto things with a...
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Zayn Malik Lyrics - Pillow Talk
Hi, I hope you can indulge me today, or at any time that you are reading this, as I would like to transcribe the lyrics to Pillow Talk - yet another musical masterpiece by renowned musician Zayn Malik....
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The Morning After
A blinding light pierces through the worn curtains that are my creased eyelids. Through the green fog floating about my brain I take my time to surmise that it must be 'tomorrow' at 'some time' in the...
View ArticleAn Easter (cotton)Tale
I approached the door to the house through the path from the front gate that was unhinged. The yard is overgrown with weeds, yet barren of grass with the soil filled with holes.I rapped on his door...
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Workplace Safety in Construction (and SHIT).
"Good afternoon CEO, 2IC, Chairperson, VC, UCE, Uso, Ladies & Gentlemen, Trans genders, dish-lickers and SFA's.It is my good honour to have the stage at this privileged time of the proceedings,...
View ArticleClimbing mountains
A time ago, a bit before the time I travelled back in time (or after, with relevance to my place in time, or yours, at the time), and a little after the time I tried my hand at being a Superhero, I set...
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Exclusive! One Direction Interview? (transcript only)
Like being given a run-down on the gender and genitalia of Taiwanese hookers available for your service, it is important to listen to and understand the specifics given of potential interviewees when...
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He whom never existed
For as long as he could remember, he didn't exist.Never had.He was Roger Skwishskoft. Or, at least, that's who he assumed he was had he existed.Which he hadn't.But for someone who hadn't existed that...
View ArticleOn The Outside
[ THE SHORT STORY 'ON THE OUTSIDE' WAS FIRST PUBLISHED ONLINE BY DARKRUN REVIEW. IT IS A PSYCHOLOGICAL THRILLER/COMEDY/ACTION/SUSPENSE COP-STORY MYSTERY.MOVIE RIGHTS ARE STILL UP FOR GRABS....
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Politically Recollect
I remember the last time I ran for President.It was a simpler time back then:The Cronulla Sharks had never won a Rugby League Premiership; It was considered a good thing that burning coal kept us warm;...
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The Kyrgios Case of Benjamin Butt'ole (the Office Worker)
8:32am: Benjamin Butt'ole walks into the office with earphones on and bag over shoulder. Sits down at desk, takes his tracksuit pants off, unzips his bag at his feet and goes through his selection of...
View ArticleMy Mate Works At A Nuclear Reactor
My mate works at a Nuclear Reactor and I don't know what that means so I thought I'd ask some questions to (nu)clear it up...Hey Belly, I've known you for a long time (it seems longer) but realised...
View ArticleLending A Hand (or two)
Here's a little story about the old and the new, beginnings and endings, oils and oils, palms and babies, and life on the factory floor...I’ve walked these cold, concrete floors for nigh on 38 years...
View ArticleA Poem: Who Am I
O'er 'ere's a clueOf meFor youI am the typeWhom typesSuch tripeFrom meTo youThere's much adoAnd typing About nothing(oh, so much ado)Thanks for reading. You can stop now. It's finished. Please stop....
View ArticleA Poem #2: P(r)o(s)e
PoetryOh, Po-e-tryIt isOf courseWhat rhymesTo meTo Edgar Allan Poe, "A tree!!"So silly when said aloud to theeTo meBy meSoliloquyThanks for reading. You can stop now. It's finished. Please stop. You're...
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